Wicked Pitch Perfect
by Wickedly Hope Pancake
Summary: Elphaba Thropp goes to Shiz University, not counting on one perky blonde singer urging her to join the Shiz Songbirds so they can win Nationals. A.U, Fiyeraba, Parody of Pitch Perfect!
1. Arrival

**Hey people! I know, I know. PLEASE don't kill me for starting another fic...ESPECIALLY a multi-chap. But, I was watching Pitch Perfect, and I just HAD to write this! The Bunny would NOT be ignored! :)**

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Elphaba leaned her head against the window of the taxi, watching as the driver pulled into Shiz University. Her earbuds plugged into her ears, she scanned the campus for a glimpse of her younger sister; Nessarose, who had been escorted to the campus _personally _by their father. Elphaba on the other hand, decided she would be more comfortable if she took a taxi. She and her Father didn't exactly have the _best_ relationship.

The driver slowed to a stop, and Elphaba took her head away from the window, unbuckled her seat belt, and got out of the cab. Paying the driver, she took her bags out of the trunk and stood in front of the main building.

Hordes of students swarmed around her, carrying boxes, suitcases, and carpetbags. Several of them stopped and stared at her, a few of them whispering behind her back, but Elphaba ignored them. She was used to it. Her whole life, she had been single out, ridiculed, and teased mercilessly because of her…_unique _skin coloring. She had been born with a rare birth defect that made her skin appear green, but today Elphaba wasn't going to let anyone's remarks bother her. Because today, she was finally getting out of boring, old Munchkinland. Today, she was starting college.

She hear someone approach her, and she turned around; expecting someone ready to ridicule her. Instead though, she came face-to-face with a smiling, perky girl about two years older than her.

"Hi! Welcome to Shiz!" The girl looked slightly shaken by the green girl's appearance, but still had a smile plastered on her face.

"Can I get your name, please?"

"Oh…Elphaba Thropp."

The girl nodded, looking down at her clipboard.

"Ookay, you are in dorm room 201 in the West building." She said, still smiling like an imbecile. Then, she took a cheap, plastic whistle from her pocket and handed it to Elphaba.

"And here is your complimentary Shiz University Panic whistle. Don't blow it, unless it's really happening!"

Elphaba nodded, as the girl continued talking about how to get to the dorms. But Elphaba wasn't listening; her attention was elsewhere.

She was watching a car driving up to the campus from across the street. Sitting in the back, a guy about her age had his feet put up against the front seat, singing to whatever was playing on the radio. From what she could make out, Elphaba could guess it was probably Party Rock Anthem or something along those lines.

He looked over at her for a second, and Elphaba froze in place. He smiled, showing off a gorgeous smile and perfect blue eyes.

Elphaba blushed, looking away and tightening her grip on her suitcase.

_Get yourself together, Elphaba. Guys don't fall for you. You don't fall for guys. You're green, remember? NOT gonna happen._

Sighing, Elphaba picked up her bags and started off in the direction of the dorms.

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**Well? Whaddya think? :D  
**


	2. Roomies

**Okay, soo...for those of you who have (or have not) seen Pitch Perfect, here's a list of the characters! **

**Beca: Elphaba**

**Chloe: Glinda**

**Aubrey: Milla**

**Bumper: Avaric**

**Jesse: Fiyero**

**Benji: Boq**

**And now...on to chapter 2!**

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Elphaba opened the door to her dorm, and came face-to-face with her younger sister, Nessa.

"Hi Fabala." Nessa greeted, a box resting on her lap. She was sitting on her bed, unpacking her clothes.

"I'll be done in a minute, then we can head down to the Activities Fair."

Elphaba nodded, setting her bags down on her bed and pulling out her laptop. She plugged her Mp3 player into it to charge, and began typing.

Seeing the computer, Nessa sighed.

"Really, Elphaba? That again?"

Elphaba shrugged, before pulling up the campus radio station and cranking up the volume.

Nessa groaned.

"Honestly, that music is nothing but monotonous digital patterns and a simple grouping of notes. The Unnamed God would be appalled."

_Here we go again, all the Unnamed God nonsense…_

"Nessa, that's your opinion. I like it, and I could care less what you think of it."

"Well, we're sharing this dorm, so you have to take my needs into account too."

"Fine." Elphaba narrowed her eyes, before cranking down the volume and plugging in her headphones.

Nessa finished laying out all her clothes on her bed, and pushed the suitcases under her bed.

"Now, will you help me down to the elevator?"

Elphaba nodded, grabbing her Mp3 player and shoving it into her bag. Nessa grabbed her crutches, and stood up slowly. Elphaba opened the door for her, and followed her down the hallway.

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**AN: Yeah...I gave Nessa crutches, instead of a wheelchair. If you don't like it, sorry. But this is my fic...soo...yeah...**


	3. Fiyero's roommate

**AN: Hey, soo...for those of you who didn't already guess...Fiyero's the one who Elphaba saw in the car. Just to clear that up... :)  
**

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Fiyero walked into his dorm, and his eyes widened.

A whole half of the room was covered in posters of magicians, sci-fi stars, and action figures. But mostly magic paraphernalia. Including hats, rings, a straightjacket, etc.

His roommate; a short, curly-haired, awkward-looking guy, turned around to face him.

"Oh, hi!" Seeing Fiyero's shocked expression, he looked over at his side of the room.

"Sorry…Is it too much? I-I can take it all down if you-"

Fiyero shook his head.

"N-No, it's cool. It just took a while for my eyes to adjust, that's all. I can roll with it…" Looking around the room, Fiyero set his suitcases down and attempted to start a conversation.

"Soo…you're into magic, huh?"

"Oh yeah!" His roommate pulled a hat off the wall, rubbed his hands over it, and it produced a dwarf hamster.

"Cool, huh?"

"aww…" Fiyero nodded, mystified.

"Quick question though…how long has that little guy been in there?"

"A couple days." He said, petting the hamster.

"Oh, I'm Boq, by the way."

"Fiyero." He answered, taking Boq's hand and shaking it.

_Boy, this is gonna be one weird year…_


	4. Songbirds and Treble-Cleffs

**Hey people! Soo...chapter 4! Yaay!**

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One they were down at the Activities Fair, Nessa went off to join the Shiz Assembly for the Unnamed God, leaving Elphaba alone.

Staring at the rows and rows of tables, clubs, fraternities and sororities, Elphaba sighed. She was never going to find a group to join at this rate…

* * *

Meanwhile, Fiyero and Boq had headed down to Activities Fair as well.

"So…Boq, what groups are you gonna sign up for?"

"There's only one group we're joining, my friend." Boq said, walking towards the far end of the campus.

Elphaba was walking around, looking at several different clubs. Most of the students turned her down though, because of her skin coloring. But this was college. She had to find something to join.

She was headed for the book club's booth, when a short, blonde, senior girl stopped her.

"Hey! Would you like to join the Shiz Songbirds?"

Elphaba looked questioningly at the girl.

"Umm…the _what?"_

Another senior, who looked a little more fazed by Elphaba's appearance, sighed.

"Galinda, don't bother."

The senior, whose name was apparently Galinda, handed Elphaba a flyer.

"We're an accapella singing group. We do covers of songs, but we don't use any instruments. It's all from our mouths."

"Oh. Wow..." Elphaba looked over at the flyer, disinterested.

"Well…thanks…but it sounds kinda lame…no offense. And I don't sing. Sorry."

The other senior looked offended.

"Acca-scuse me? It is not!" But before she could get in any more, Elphaba had walked off in the direction of the college radio station.

Galinda and Milla looked slightly disappointed. The Songbirds were _never _going to get eight new members. At this rate, they would be lucky if they got one…

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Meanwhile, Boq was watching another accapella group; the Treble-Cleffs.

"This is it. The coolest group on campus. Well…excluding sports teams, fraternities and groups of _actual _cool people…"

Fiyero, nodded.

"Synchronized nerd singing…this is great."

"I'm gonna go introduce myself. H-How's your singing?"

The Treble-Cleffs began singing Dazz Band's "Whip It" and Fiyero starting singing along.

"We both are here to have the fun, so let it whip…"

"Cool. Okay, I'm going for it. Everybody be cool. It's just a normal day…" Boq grinned, before taking a deep breath and approaching the Lead singer of the Treble-Cleffs; Avaric.

"Uh…H-Hi. I'm Boq. Lemme just say, I saw you guys perform at a Mall of America like three years ago. Totally changed my life. I have not stopped thinking about you since."

Avaric scoffed.

"Um…thank you?"

"A-And Avaric? Huge fan by the way. Your arrangement of Lovin' Spoonful's "Do You Believe In Magic" inspired me to become a certified illusionist."

Avaric laughed.

"Wow. Okay, the smell of your weird is actually affecting my vocal cords…so I'm gonna ask you to scoot…"

"But why don't we just exchange emails, and then totally hang out right now, together?"

"Uh, no. DEFINATE no. What a nerd alert…"

Boq trudged back over to Fiyero, who was standing a ways away.

"Well?"

Boq looked defeated.

"Do you think I came on too strong?"

_...YES!_

"N-Noo…no, not at all."

"Should I have done one of my tricks?" Boq asked, pulling out his gerbil from his sleeve.

Fiyero shook his head.

"Umm…no. Maybe you can try facebook messaging or something?"

"Good idea."

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**Please review! Or else...  
**


	5. The radio station

Elphaba walked into the campus radio station, clutching a flyer that read-

**INTERNS NEEDED. NO TRAINING REQUIRED. Report to DJ ASAP**

**Campus Radio: Ninety-five point seven, WBUJ, music for the independent mind.**

Closing the door, she looked around, before heading over to the sound booth. Some song she'd never heard in her life was playing, and a senior wearing a Led Zeppelin T-shirt and ripped jeans was sitting in a chair behind the glass.

Elphaba knocked on the door, and he turned around and froze. He changed the song in the station, before opening the door and approaching her.

"Woah…far out. You born that way?" He remarked, taking off his sunglasses and staring at her.

Elphaba rolled her eyes.

"Yeah, I was. Stop staring!"

"Sorry," He muttered, putting his shades back on.

Just then, Fiyero ran into the building.

"Hey! Are you who I talk to about helping out here?" He asked, holding up the same flyer that Elphaba had in her hand. Then, he saw Elphaba.

"Hey, I know you."

Elphaba looked nervous.

"No you don't." She stared at him for a second. _Wait…does he? _Then, something clicked. _Oh man…he's that guy from the car…_

"Yeah, I do."

Elphaba shook her head, turning to the DJ.

"He doesn't."

Fiyero looked determined.

"I totally know her."

The senior put up his hands.

"You know what? Whatever. You guys can figure it out while you're stacking CDs. When you're done, there's more in the closet. Now, you guys will be spending a lot of down time together, so please no stripping. No making out in the CD closet, on the desk, or anywhere else. Got it?"

"Got it." Fiyero and Elphaba said, looking slightly weirded-out.

"Good. I'm Jay, by the way." The senior said, walking over to the door. Opening it, he turned to them. "Now you two get to work."

Elphaba groaned, walking over to a row of CDs and looking them over.

Fiyero followed her.

"I do know you. I sang to you. I remember because you were in a taxi. Wait, is your dad a taxi driver?"

She looked up at him.

"What? No." Elphaba said, going back to shelving the CDs.

"This sucks. I wanted to play music…"

Fiyero grinned.

"Not me. I'm here for one reason only. I really love stacking CDs."

Elphaba scoffed, before walking over to the other side of the station.

Fiyero followed her again.

"So, what's your deal? Are you like…a music nerd or something? Or are you like one of those girls who's all dark and mysterious then she takes of those glasses and all her piercings and you realize that, you know…she was beautiful the whole time."

"I don't have any piercings." Elphaba deadpanned.

"Then you're halfway there."

Elphaba blushed. _Wait…is he trying to flirt with me? Oh crap…this has NEVER happened before. And he's actually kind of cute…oh man…what do I do?!_

She smiled at him, before going back to organizing the CD racks.

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**Review, or I will send my flying ferrets after you! :)  
**


	6. Titanium and the shower

**So...for those of you who have seen Pich Perfect, this is the Shower Scene. For those of you who have NOT seen it, I warn you: there is...nudidty in this chapter. THIS is why this fic is rated T.**

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Elphaba was asleep on her bed; in her pajamas, with her headphones over her ears, when Nessa opened the door and walked into the room. Closing the door, she shuffled over to her sister's bed.

"Elphaba? Elphaba, wake up!" She shook her, and Elphaba groggily opened her eyes.

"What, Nessa?" She took off her headphones and looked at her younger sister.

"You were supposed to be down at the Intro to Philosophy class with me! You said you'd go!"

"Well, I'm posing an important philosophical question right now. If I don't go to that class, will everyone still treat me like a monster?"

"Fabala, this is college. People aren't as immature as back in High School. I promise."

"Don't make promises you can't keep." Elphaba said dryly, getting up and grabbing a towel and shampoo from her suitcase.

"I'm gonna go take a shower. If I'm not back in an hour, it was nice knowing you…"

Nessa rolled her eyes, before her sister walked out of the dorm.

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Elphaba was humming "Titanium" while she walked down to the showers. Though, one thing led to another, and soon Elphaba was singing softly to herself. What she didn't know, was that someone was listening…

"You shout it out, but I can't hear a word you say. I'm talkin' loud, not sayin' much…"

Elphaba walked down to the farthest shower. Tugging the curtain closed, she took off her pajamas and hung them on a hook outside the shower, along with her towel. She turned on the water, and started singing again.

"I'm criticized, but all your bullets ricochet, shoot me down, but I get up…"

"You can sing!"

Someone pulled the curtain open, and Elphaba gasped. It was Galinda, the blonde senior who had tried to get her to join that accapella singing group. Hastily, she pulled the shower curtain closed again.

Only to have it yanked open again by Galinda.

"Dude!"

"How high does your belt go?" The blond asked inquisitively.

"My _what?"_

Elphaba turned off the water, slightly thrown by the fact that this girl was talking to her, _in the shower_ at that.

Then, she remembered that she wasn't wearing anything. Then again, neither was Galinda.

"Oh my god…" Elphaba tried to hide behind the curtain.

Galinda didn't seem fazed at all.

"You have to audition for the Songbirds!"

Elphaba closed her eyes.

"I can't concentrate on anything your saying until you cover your junk…"

"Just consider it! One time, we sang back-up for Prince! His butt is so tiny, I can hold it in, like, _one hand."_

"That's nice." Elphaba said, still hiding behind the shower curtain.

Then, of _course, _Galinda had to accidentally pull it down. "Accidentally"

"Oops."

Elphaba gasped, turning around in the corner and facing the wall.

"Seriously?! I am nude."

Galinda changed the subject.

"You were singing Titanium, right?"

Elphaba looked over at her.

"You know David Guetta?"

"Have I been living under a rock?" The blonde scoffed. "Yeah, I know him! That song is my jam. My _lady jam."_

"That's nice." She said, still facing the corner.

Galinda nodded.

"It is. The song really builds."

"Gross…"

"Can you sing it for me?"

Elphaba looked appalled.

"Dude, NO. Get OUT!"

"Not for _that _reason!" Galinda looked disgusted.

"I'm not leaving here 'till you sing…soo…" She sighed dramatically, looking around the shower.

Elphaba groaned. _This girl was OBVIOUSLY very determined. Besides, the sooner she sang, the sooner Galinda would leave…_

Sighing, she turned around and crossed her arms, trying to cover as much of herself as she could.

"I'm bulletproof, nothing to lose…"

Galinda joined in, harmonizing with the green girl.

"…Fire away, fire away,"

The two continued singing, Elphaba trying to look at the ceiling the whole time. After all, _neither _of them were wearing anything…

"Ricochet, you take your aim, fire away, fire away. You shoot me down but I won't fall, I am titanium You shoot me down but I won't fall. I am titanium"

Once they finished, Galinda looked positively thrilled. She just knew that this green girl could sing! And now, they might have a new member for the Songbirds!

Elphaba, on the other hand, was blushing furiously, looking away from the blonde.

Galinda looked down at herself, then shrugged.

"Yeah, I'm kinda confidant about _all this._"

Elphaba nodded, slightly uncomfortable in this situation.

"You should be." She said, looking down at her feet, then over at Galinda.

"Oh, right." She reached around the shower, grabbed Elphaba's towel and tossing it to her.

Elphaba caught it, wrapping it around herself.

"_Thanks._" Elphaba said, completely mortified.

The blonde smiled, before leaving her in the shower.

"See you at auditions!"

Elphaba was confused. What had just happened?

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**Good? Bad?  
**


	7. Auditions

**Hey people! Chapter 7! Yay! Hope the last chapter wasn't too wierd...**

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It was the day of Auditions. Students gathered in the auditorium, only to be ushered behind the curtain into a long line.

In the seats sat the two Accapella singing groups, the Songbirds and the Treble-Cleffs.

Avaric was sitting with seven or eight seniors, all who were wearing Treble-Cleff T-shirts.

On the other side of the auditorium sat Milla and Galinda. Ever since the…incident at Nationals last year, all their members either quit, or transferred.

Avaric laughed.

"Hey Songbirds. Remember when you tried to play in the big leagues and you choked? Yeah, that's a lesson to everyone here. If you sing the same old girly shit every year, you'll blow chunks. Literally. Just all over the place."

Milla stood up, looking furious.

"My fellow Acca-people. We will _not_ let egotistical, bigheaded, garbage, dirtballs, whoever you may be, get in our way. We WILL be returning to Nationals this year to finish what we started."

The stage manager coughed, and the seniors diverted their attention towards the front of the auditorium.

"Um…yeah. Hi. All of you auditioning will be singing thirteen bars of Kelly Clarkson's "Since U Been Gone" Okay? Here's the first one up."

A freshman walked onstage, wearing ripped jeans, a red flannel shirt, and a black baseball hat.

One of the Trebles piped up.

"Whenever you're ready, dude."

The freshman scoffed, before removing _her _hat and introducing herself.

"Yeah, I'm Cynthia Rose."

The Treble looked shocked.

"Woah…not a dude. That is _not_ a dude."

The music started, and one by one the students filed on and off the stage. They sang their thirteen bars, and then were escorted out the door by the stage manager.

One of them broke down crying before they started singing, another was barely able to be heard above the music, and another sounded like they were tone-deaf.

Among the ones auditioning were Boq and Fiyero. But no Elphaba. Galinda looked around impatiently. She was _sure _that green girl could help them win Nationals. Her voice was amazing!

* * *

After the last singer exited the auditorium, the stage manager walked onstage.

"Okay, that's all of them. So, if you liked one of them, you have their info; you'll contact them directly."

Everyone was getting ready to leave, when Elphaba slowly pushed open the stage door.

Glinda looked relieved.

"Oh! There's one more!"

The stage manager turned to face Elphaba. He seemed a little shocked by the fact that she was green, but he didn't say anything and escorted her onto the stage.

Elphaba walked onstage, and Avaric sneered.

"Woah, check out the green girl…"

"I…uh, didn't know we had to perform that song…" She said, glaring over in Avaric's direction.

Milla smiled.

"Oh, no problem. Sing whatever you want."

Elphaba nodded, before noticing a plastic cup sitting on the edge of the stage. Walking over to it she bent down.

"Um…can I?" She asked, gesturing towards it.

"Oh, yeah." Milla nodded.

Elphaba sat down on the stage, holding the cup. Placing it upside down, she began tapping out a rhythm with it.

"I got my ticket for the long way 'round…two bottles whisky for the way, and I sure would like some sweet company and I'm leavin' tomorrow what do you say…"

Milla looked surprised. This green girl could REALLY sing.

"…When I'm gone, when I'm gone, you're gonna miss me when I'm gone. You're gonna miss me when I'm gone…you're gonna miss me by my walk, you're gonna miss me by my talk, oh you're sure gonna miss me when I'm gone."

Elphaba placed the cup down on the stage,

"Umm…yeah. That's it." She said, standing up.

"C-Can I…you know…go now?"

Milla nodded.

"Oh, yeah. Sure. Great job!"

Elphaba nodded, before walking off the stage and out the stage door.

Milla turned to Galinda.

"Who was that and why is she green?"

Galinda shrugged.

"I dunno. But she sure can sing!"

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**Review? :)**


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